


Come Clean

by The_Clock_Strikes_Twilight



Series: Celestial Songs [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: AkuSai Month 2020 (Kingdom Hearts), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Celestial Songs, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, LeaIsa Month 2020 (Kingdom Hearts), Light Angst, Love, M/M, Musical Prompt Playlist, Songfic, Songs of the Sun and Moon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:35:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25150984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Clock_Strikes_Twilight/pseuds/The_Clock_Strikes_Twilight
Summary: The front door swings open, bringing Isa to his feet. He watches as his other half trudges in, seemingly exhausted. He waits and watches as the redhead makes his way through the apartment, pulling off another layer of clothing the deeper inside he gets. He heads for the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Isa swallows hard before reclaiming his seat on the couch. He then takes a deep breath and glances over at the set of pictures on the small end table.
Relationships: Axel/Saïx (Kingdom Hearts), Isa/Lea (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: Celestial Songs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1820650
Kudos: 10





	Come Clean

**Author's Note:**

> Song Used: "Just Give Me A Reason" by P!nk feat. Nate Ruess
> 
> July 8th, Day 1 of AkuSai/LeaIsa Month 2020

_Right from the start_

_You were a thief_

_You stole my heart_

_And I your willing victim_

_I let you see the parts of me_

_That weren’t all that pretty_

_And with every touch_

_You fixed them…_

Isa can’t stop checking the clock. This doesn’t make sense. It’s too late for—Hmm. Maybe the clock is broken. Maybe it’s been stuck at that time for days. Except the lack of light outside the window gives the time away. There’s no way the clock is wrong. Then again, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

The front door swings open, bringing Isa to his feet. He watches as his other half trudges in, seemingly exhausted. He waits and watches as the redhead makes his way through the apartment, pulling off another layer of clothing the deeper inside he gets. He heads for the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Isa swallows hard before reclaiming his seat on the couch. He then takes a deep breath and glances over at the set of pictures on the small end table.

The first photograph is from the night he and Lea first met. He had been out with a couple friends from school and one of them invited his other friend from home. Isa was introduced to the redhead and they hit it off right away. Their other friends snuck the picture of them, and it quickly became one of Isa’s favourites. The second photograph is from the day they moved in together. Once they had unpacked everything, Lea _insisted_ on taking a picture, despite Isa’s protests. Despite how exhausted he was after such a long day. But it’s always been tough for him to say no to Lea. So, they took the picture anyway. And then the third photograph—

Lea comes out of the bathroom with nothing except a towel wrapped around his waist. Isa gets to his feet once more and follows Lea’s movements into the conjoined kitchen and dining room. He opens the fridge and Isa takes another deep breath before making his way towards him.

“Long day?” he speaks up.

Lea closes the fridge door without pulling anything out. “Yeah.” He looks up at Isa and reaches out to him, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear. “Long day.”

Isa doesn’t let himself smile. “Would you like to talk about it?”

“No.” He steps away from him. “I just wanna get to bed.”

“You should at least eat something.”

He makes his way for the bedroom. “I’m not hungry.”

He doesn’t slam that door. But Isa still jumps slightly as it shuts. He looks back at the end table from where he’s standing in the kitchen. The third photograph…

The third one is of Isa kissing Lea’s cheek. Another instance of Lea pestering Isa to take a picture with him. They hadn’t been dating yet, but Isa had been trying to think up some way to confess to Lea. So, he went along with Lea’s playful pestering to take the picture, as he always would. At the last second, though, he had turned his head and kissed Lea’s cheek, causing him to drop the camera as he snapped the picture. And the way the picture came out had been…perfect. A little blurred, but perfect, nonetheless.

Isa smiles at the memory. Smiles at the bittersweet taste in his mouth. His gaze then falls upon the closed door. It’s a shame, really. The people in those pictures are no longer the same.

_Now you’ve been talking in your sleep_

_Oh, oh, things you never say to me_

_Oh, oh, tell me that you’ve had enough_

_Of our love, our love…_

By the time Isa joins Lea in bed, it’s well past midnight. He carefully slips under the covers as to not wake the redhead. He moves slowly as he makes himself comfortable. Lea shifts, turning towards Isa and wrapping an arm around his waist. Isa smiles softly. Some things haven’t changed. Like the way he overthinks, for instance. Or the way he and Lea fit so perfectly together. How warm Lea feels. How comfortable Isa is with him. How safe and sound he is. Secure.

“This isn’t working out,” Lea speaks up, mumbling.

Isa’s brow furrows. “What?”

“We shouldn’t do this anymore,” he goes on. “Not like this.”

He pauses. “Do…what?”

“This. It’s wrong.”

The breath catches in Isa’s throat. This is one of those things he shouldn’t be overthinking. After all, Lea doesn’t mean what he’s saying. He can’t. He’s only sleep talking. He has to be. It has to be in reference to some strange dream he’s having. Not about them. Not about their relationship.

“Sunbeam…” Isa gently runs his fingers through Lea’s hair. “What are you saying?” His voice is soft. Low. “You don’t mean it. Please. Tell me you don’t.”

There’s no response. Lea is fast asleep. But now Isa is wide awake.

_Just give me a reason_

_Just a little bit’s enough_

_Just a second, we’re not broken, just bent_

_And we can learn to love again_

_It’s in the stars_

_It’s been written in the scars on our hearts_

_We’re not broken, just bent_

_And we can learn to love again…_

Isa closes the front door as quietly as he can. He doesn’t want his departure to wake Lea. He’s always hated when Isa goes out for these late-night walks. But the walks are the only things that help clear his mind. And that’s exactly what Isa needs right now.

There’s a slight chill to the air. Isa doesn’t mind. The cold has never bothered him much. If anything, it helps even more.

He walks aimlessly around the small town. For a while, he doesn’t let himself think about anything at all. Once the cold settles into his bones, though, all the thoughts he’s been holding back flood his mind. All his thoughts about Lea and their relationship. Starting with what Lea had just said. Hmm. Isa knows he shouldn’t take it too seriously. Lea had been talking in his sleep, after all. It wouldn’t be fair of Isa to hold what he said against him. Not when Lea won’t even remember having said it.

Isa stops. That’s right. Lea _won’t_ remember this when he wakes up. So why is Isa fretting so much over it? It didn’t mean anything. _Lea_ didn’t mean it. He couldn’t have. Unless… What if he had been speaking his true feelings? Admitting what he can’t in their waking life out of fear of hurting Isa? What if—?

No. Isa can’t think like this. He has to think of all he and Lea have been through, instead. They’ve worked so hard to get to where they are today. They’ve already struggled so much. Too much. Isa doesn’t want to have to struggle anymore. He just wants them to be able to be happy. Hell, he thought they _were_ happy. But now… Tch. For someone who overthinks so much, he’s not even sure what to think anymore.

He finally continues walking. It’s been so long now; he can no longer feel the cold. He’s grown immune to it. Numb. But he’s not ready to go home yet. He still has so much more thinking to do. More to figure out. To debate. Of course, he should probably discuss all this with Lea. First, though, he needs to have the discussion with himself. Play out every possible scenario in his head. Every possible word. That way he’ll know exactly what to say. No matter what. He’ll know how to handle the truth. He’ll know—

Except he doesn’t know. He has no way of knowing what the truth could be. How Lea might truly feel. And he’ll only know by physically speaking with the redhead. Not with the fake version of him inside Isa’s head. That’s just as unfair as holding sleep-spoken words against him.

Soon enough, he finds himself outside the bar where he and Lea first met. He thinks back on that night. On the photo in the frame. How different would his life be if he hadn’t met Lea that night? Would he be happier? Would he be miserable? Would he have fallen in love with someone else? Maybe he would’ve moved out of this small town. To a big city. A city where, maybe, they still would’ve ended up meeting each other. Because, despite everything—all the doubts and fears—Isa can’t help but feel that they’re still meant to be together. He can’t see himself with anyone else. Can’t see Lea with anyone else. Doesn’t want either of them to be with anyone else. He wants them to make it through this just like they’ve made it through everything else.

Hmm. _This_. The problem Isa has created in his own head. The problem that may not even be a true problem. The one that may not need any sort of solution at all. Except maybe reiterating their love. Maybe falling in love all over again.

_I’m sorry, I don’t understand_

_Where all of this is coming from_

_I thought that we were fine_

_(Oh, we had everything)_

_Your head is running wild again_

_My dear, we still have everything_

_And it’s all in your mind_

_(Yeah, but this is happening…)_

Lea’s eyes groggily flutter open. He checks the bedside table for the time. Just after 6a. He yawns, stretching his body out as he turns to greet his other half. Except there’s no one in bed with him. Isa is…gone. Huh. That’s strange. Lea runs his hand over the spot where Isa is usually laying—waiting—only to find that it’s cold. Hmm. So, Isa’s been up for a while. Lea couldn’t guess how long, but he doesn’t recall Isa getting into bed the previous night, either. _Shit_. This can’t be a good sign.

He sits up and looks toward the bedroom door. It’s open just a crack, which means Isa left trying not to disturb Lea. He sniffs a bit. Huh. Nothing is cooking. At least, nothing he can smell. Hell, he can’t even smell coffee brewing. He throws the covers off himself and slips out of bed. He grabs the nearest sweatpants he can find, hopping into them as he makes his way for the door.

He pushes it open to find himself in an empty apartment.

Lea goes back to the bed for his phone. He calls Isa and after a few seconds, he hears a familiar ringtone coming from the next room over. He follows it into the kitchen to find Isa’s phone on the counter. He hangs up, defeated. Great. Isa only ever leaves his phone behind when he’s caught up in dangerous thoughts. Overthinking their relationship. Too bad Lea has no idea what could’ve set Isa off this time. And it’s nearly impossible for him to get Isa to open up. Even after all this time. It’s…exasperating.

He grabs the coffee carafe and starts brewing a fresh pot. Might as well seeing as the only thing he can do now is wait. Lucky for him, though, he doesn’t have to wait long.

The front door opens and Isa walks in just as the coffee finishes brewing. Lea remains in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with his arms folded across his chest. He has one foot hooked around his other ankle; his gaze is turned down. He needs to approach this in a calm manner. Gently. The last thing he wants is a fight. Especially first thing in the morning.

“Welcome home,” he greets Isa.

Isa nods once in reply. “Good morning.”

Lea grabs two mugs, pouring coffee into both them and handing one over to Isa. “How long have you been out?”

There’s a slight tremor to Isa’s hand as he takes the mug. “Lost track of time,” he says. “I hadn’t planned on being out all night, but once I realised the time, I decided to stay out to watch the sunrise.”

All night. Tch. Definitely not a good sign. “What’s on your mind, then?” Lea asks.

“What do you mean?”

“C’mon, Isa, give me some credit. We’ve been together long enough for me to know you better than that. I know you were out overthinking. So, what’s on your mind?”

He hums softly before taking a deep breath. “Are you happy?”

Lea’s brow furrows. “Huh? What kind of a question is that? Of course I am.”

“Do you mean that? And you don’t have to worry about hurting me. I mean, I wouldn’t want to hold you back or be the reason you’re unhappy. I just want—”

“Where the hell is this coming from?”

“O-oh. Uhm. Well, I-I—uhm…” He clears his throat. “I-I just feel like we’ve been drifting apart lately.”

Lea almost wants to scream. He wants to tell Isa that he’s an idiot. That he’s being stupid. He won’t say that, though. “That’s…not true,” he says instead. “I haven’t been feeling that way, at least.”

“Oh, so just because _you_ haven’t felt it, means that my feelings are invalid?”

“No fair. That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

Another deep breath. Isa then proceeds to place his cup down on the table without having taken even a single sip of the coffee. “I’m tired.” And he heads for their bedroom.

Lea wants to stop him. He doesn’t. Just drops his gaze back to the floor, closing his eyes as he hears the door click shut. He then lets out a shaky breath. A breath he hadn’t realised he had been holding. _I just feel like we’ve been drifting apart lately_. Tch. Lea can’t even begin to explain how wrong Isa is for feeling that way. For even thinking it. They’re not growing apart. They can’t be. They’ve both sacrificed far too much to give up on each other. Not that Lea would ever even consider giving up on Isa. Nor does he believe that Isa could ever give up on him. He wouldn’t.

He lets out a heavy sigh, turning his head and lifting his gaze towards the bedroom door. He won’t bother Isa. Not now. He’s sure he truly is exhausted. Especially after being out all night. So, he’ll let him be. For now. And he’ll wait. For now. Hopefully some rest will clear Isa’s head.

In the meantime, Lea will simply take it easy. Take the day to think up ways to alleviate Isa’s fears. To make things better. Because he only ever wants things to get better. He only ever wants their relationship to get better. Even at—No… _Especially at_ times like these. Times when Isa’s doubts seem to get the best of him. The past has these anxieties surface in him more often than not, but Lea will never tire of talking Isa off the ledge. He’ll never tire of reminding Isa of just how much he loves him. How much he adores him. This time is no different.

It’ll never be any different.

_You’ve been having real bad dreams_

_Oh, oh, you used to lie so close to me_

_Oh, oh, there’s nothing more than empty sheets_

_Between our love, our love_

_Oh, our love, our love…_

Lea crawls into bed that night with a heavy heart. He and Isa didn’t talk again for the rest of the day. Isa had come out of the bedroom, but he hadn’t been in the mood for picking up on their earlier conversation. And Lea hadn’t been in the mood to argue, so he just let it go. Hmm. Never go to bed angry, right? Not that he would say either of them are necessarily angry, but—Tch. Semantics.

Despite his own growing worries, Lea falls asleep relatively quickly. He’s not sure how long he’s asleep, though, before he’s awoken by Isa fidgeting beside him. He turns to face him and finds him rolling back and forth in short and sharp movements.

“Isa?” he speaks through the darkness. “Moonshine?” He reaches for him, but Isa seems to instinctually swat Lea’s hand away. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s just me.” He tries again, only to be met with the same response. “Isa, please, calm down.”

He thinks the third time may be the charm, but Isa’s reaction is still no different. Lea sits up, not knowing what else to do. He regrets the entire day now. Regrets not sucking it up and just forcing them to talk out Isa’s concerns. He regrets it now, in this moment that he’s trying to pull Isa into him, but Isa is only shifting away.

Away from his touch. Out of his reach.

_Just give me a reason_

_Just a little bit’s enough_

_Just a second, we’re not broken, just bent_

_And we can learn to love again_

_I never stopped_

_You’re still written in the scars on my heart_

_You’re not broken, just bent_

_And we can learn to love again…_

Lea is unable to sleep for the rest of the night. So, he starts his long day with a shower. A long, hot shower. He tries not to think during it. Doesn’t want to think about anything. So, he just focuses on the water. Watches all the paths it takes down his body. All the little rivers it forms. It distracts him so much that he loses track of time. He doesn’t realise just how long he’s been in there until he notices how much his hands have pruned. He lets out a heavy sigh and washes his hair and body before finally wrapping up.

He steps out of the shower and ties a towel around his waist. He stops in front of the sink and observes himself in the mirror. There are bags under his eyes, but they’re probably only noticeable to him. Especially since he knows he hasn’t been sleeping well. Anyone else looking at him wouldn’t think twice. Except maybe Isa. Hmm… He shakes his head, unintentionally sending droplets of water flying in every which direction.

Yeah. It’s gonna be a long day, all right.

He finishes drying off and throws on a pair of sweatpants. It’s still dark, so he’s not sure if they’re his own pair or a pair of Isa’s, but he also doesn’t care. It’s only five o’clock in the morning; it’s too early for him to care. Not that he would care if it had been five o’clock in the evening, either. Ugh. The shit he concerns himself with when he’s overtired and trying not to think.

He makes his way to the kitchen and brews a pot of coffee. While it’s brewing, he sneaks back into the bedroom and grabs a book from Isa’s bedside table. One of their favourites. The one they read over and over when their imagination is running wild. He pulls the book from the shelf and returns to the kitchen.

Soon enough, Lea is curled up on the couch with the book and a cup of coffee. He opens the book to the middle and starts reading from a random sentence. A random word. Isa can’t stand when he does this, but he’s read the book enough times by now that he enjoys opening to random pages rather than starting from the beginning every time. He’ll even read it from last chapter to first chapter sometimes. Nothing drives Isa crazier than that. Lea chuckles under his breath…

Too bad he can’t focus.

He sets the book down and finishes off his coffee. He then gets to his feet so he can pour himself another cup. As he’s pouring, Isa retreats from the bedroom, almost causing Lea to overfill and spill hot coffee all over the countertop and himself. Luckily, he manages to catch himself before that happens.

“You’re up early,” he says.

Isa looks him up and down. “I could say the same to you.”

Lea shrugs his shoulders. “Couldn’t sleep.” He pulls a second mug from the cabinet and fills it with coffee. “Here.” He holds it out for Isa, who gladly approaches him and accepts it. “Up for the day?”

“So it would seem.” Isa sips at the coffee. “Thank you.” He then moves to sit on the couch. “I see you’ve pulled out our favourite.”

Lea glances over at him to find that he’s referring to the book. He then nods his head. “It’s been a while.” He joins Isa on the couch. “I needed a refresher.”

He hums softly. Thoughtfully. “Perhaps we could reread it together. I can read a chapter, then you can read a chapter, so on and so forth.”

He can’t help but smile, intrigued by this suggestion. The idea. “I’d love that.”

For the rest of the morning, Lea stays curled up on the couch with Isa. Reading their old favourite book and drinking their favourite coffee. It’s perfect. Almost as if nothing had been wrong in the first place.

Except _perfect_ is short-lived, while _nothing_ always has a way of coming back around at the most inopportune moments.

_Our tear ducts can rust_

_I’ll fix it for us_

_We’re collecting dust_

_But our love’s enough…_

Time feels as if it’s at a standstill. Frozen. Isa is standing at the edge of the kitchen with the table flipped over on its side. It’s the only thing separating him and Lea. Separating him _from_ Lea. He’s trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

How did they get here?

There’s a ringing in his ears. Isa looks over at Lea. He’s heaving his chest, breathing hard. Like he had just been yelling. Isa is having a hard time catching his breath, himself. And his cheeks feel…stiff? Tight. Like something wet had dried on them. He covers his face with his hands. Yeah, he’s definitely been crying. But why? Why can’t he remember what just happened? What the hell were he and Lea arguing about? What did he do? What did Lea say?

His head feels heavy. The room is spinning. He stumbles a bit, the back of his knees soon hitting the armrest of the couch. He tumbles over it, collapsing onto the chilled piece of furniture. Nearly rolling off it. This isn’t right. It isn’t _good_. The urge to cry overtakes him, but he can only release dry sobs. There aren’t any tears left. He’s dehydrated. Drained. He just wants to sink into the cushions and disappear. Drown.

He hears a light _thump_ and lifts himself onto his elbows. Lea has righted the table. Put it back on its legs. Then Lea meets his gaze. Stern. Isa swallows hard.

Lea gestures towards himself. “C’mere.”

_You’re holding it in_

_You’re pouring a drink_

_No, nothing is as bad as it seems_

_We’ll come clean…_

The moment feels…stuck. Lea eyes the knocked over table as he tries to figure out how to move past this. He watches from his peripheral view as Isa stumbles back until he falls onto the couch. It isn’t long before he hears Isa choking out dry sobs. That’s when Lea squeezes his eyes shut. Damn it. Everything about this… It’s wrong.

He takes a deep breath and squats to pick up the table. He flips it back onto its legs. When he’s standing upright again, he notices Isa is looking at him.

Lea gestures towards himself. “C’mere.” Isa doesn’t hesitate to listen. He removes himself from the couch and rejoins Lea in the little kitchen. Lea then pulls out a chair. “Sit.” Isa continues to listen. Lea sits across from him with another deep breath. “We are not getting up from this table until we figure this out.”

Isa shakes his head, his gaze down. “There’s nothing to figure out.”

“Don’t. Do not give me that bullshit. Do not shut down on me. Do not withdraw yourself from me. I am not going to put up with it right now.” He stops himself, not wanting to raise his voice again. “You need to talk to me, Isa. You need to tell me exactly what is on your mind.”

Isa squeezes his eyes shut and Lea notices the gleam of a tear running down his cheek. He wants to reach out and wipe it dry. He wants to hold Isa. He knows better, though. In this moment, he can’t. In this moment, they’re strangers. They have to relearn each other. Fall back in love.

_Just give me a reason_

_Just a little bit’s enough_

_Just a second, we’re not broken, just bent_

_And we can learn to love again_

_It’s in the stars_

_It’s been written in the scars on our hearts_

_That we’re not broken, just bent_

_And we can learn to love again…_

Isa isn’t sure just how much time has passed. He just knows that he’s been sitting at this table with Lea in utter silence long enough to drive him crazy. He rests his elbows on it as his head drops into his hands. He can’t take this any longer. He can’t continue to just sit here. It’s hopeless. _They’re_ hopeless. He doesn’t want to say it out loud, though. Can’t bring himself to say it out loud. Because as soon as he does, he knows it’ll over for real. For good.

“Are you happy?” Lea suddenly asks.

Isa lifts his head, almost giving himself whiplash. His eyes want to widen, and his brows want to furrow all at the same. He’s not even sure how to respond to that. “What?”

“You asked me before,” he goes on. “So now I’m asking you.” He leans back in his seat, folding his arms across his chest. “Ae you happy?”

He can feel himself shaking. “I-I…don’t know.” He swallows hard. “I’m scared.”

“What are you scared of?”

He slowly lifts his gaze to meet the burning one across from him. That gaze. Those green eyes. They were the first thing Isa came to love about Lea. “Of losing you.”

“You’re…not. You could never lose me.”

His gaze drops back down. Isa wants to believe him, but… His thoughts are far too loud. Louder than Lea’s reassurance, as aggravating as that is. “You mentioned one night that this isn’t working out,” he then starts, “and that we shouldn’t do this anymore because it’s wrong.”

Lea makes a face like Isa is out of his mind. “When the hell did I say that?”

Isa is almost embarrassed to answer. “In your sleep…”

Now he actually _laughs_. “Hold on, and you took it seriously? Isa…” He shakes his head at him, still chuckling. “How long ago was this?”

“A couple weeks ago. After you had that long day at work.”

He pauses. “The night you ended up going for the walk and stayed out all night?”

“Exactly.”

“Okay. First of all,” he leans forward, “I had been dreaming that night. Second of all, you _know_ I have a tendency to talk in my sleep when I dream.” He chuckles again. “It had been about that dumb team project from work. The two guys I had been teamed up with were idiots and kept coming up with all these ideas that made absolutely no sense. But since they agreed with each other no matter what, I kept losing out on votes and it was frustrating. _That’s_ what hadn’t been working out. _That’s_ what we shouldn’t have been doing. _That’s_ what had been wrong. It had nothing to do with you.”

Isa wants to drown all over again. How could he have been so _stupid_? Lea had been complaining about that project for weeks prior. Tch. Why did Isa always have to jump to the worst conclusion?

Suddenly, his hands are enveloped with Lea’s warmth. He looks across the table at the redhead, who’s smiling at him. “You have nothing to worry about.”

He swallows hard. His words still aren’t reassuring. “But… I am worried.”

_Just give me a reason_

_Just a little bit’s enough_

_Just a second, we’re not broken, just bent_

_And we can learn to love again_

_It’s in the stars_

_It’s been written in the scars on our hearts_

_That we’re not broken, just bent_

_And we can learn to love again…_

Lea’s heart sinks at those words. He grasps Isa’s hands a little tighter. “What are you so worried about?”

Isa pauses. “What if I interpreted your words that way for a reason?”

The breath catches in his throat. “Isa… You’re thinking too much. Okay? There’s no, like, subliminal meaning to this. No reason to be worried. We—We met because we’re meant to be together.”

“Do you think we met for a reason other than that?”

“What other reason do we need?”

Isa pulls his hands away and Lea does everything in his power to let him. To stop himself from following them. “How have we made each other better?”

Lea is taken aback by this question. He’s even more taken aback by the fact that he’s not sure how to answer. And he hates that. And he must’ve taken too long to respond because Isa is now standing up from his seat and walking away. Lea needs to think fast. Act fast.

“Fine,” he calls out, also jumping to his feet. “You want a _fucking_ reason? Fine.” He steps around the table and up to Isa. “I am in love with you. Okay?” It’s taking everything in him to keep his voice from cracking. “Please tell that’s enough.”

Isa’s eyes are swollen and bloodshot. “Why?”

He lets out an exasperated laugh; he can’t help it. “Why what?”

“Why do you love me?”

Isa’s voice is small. Soft. Meanwhile, Lea wants to scream. Not at Isa, just in general.

“You are so… _infuriating_ ,” Lea says. He notices Isa wince a bit at the word. “You know that, right?” He pauses. “But I think that’s exactly why I love you so much. You make me feel everything tenfold and it’s exhilarating.” He takes Isa’s hands in his own once more. “I love you tenfold. I love you ten times more than I’ve ever loved anyone before and I’m not giving up on that. I’m not letting you give up on this.”

Next thing he knows, there’s no distance between him and Isa. Their bodies and lips are pressed together. Lea can feel the tears streaming down Isa’s cheeks. He can taste them in their kiss. Bittersweet.

“We’re in this together,” Lea goes on once they break apart, holding Isa’s face in his gentle hands. “But you have to start talking to me as soon as you get these doubts and fears. Don’t let them boil until they bubble over. Come to me and talk to me.”

Isa nods his head. “I’m sorry, I just—” His voice cracks. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I’m like this. I don’t know why I have such a hard time confronting you and my feelings. I mean, I think I’m just so terrified of losing you that—”

“You will never lose me. And I will prove that to you as often as I have to.”

He swallows hard. “It’s the same for me. I-I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. And I think that scares me even more.”

Lea smiles, kissing Isa’s forehead first, then the tip of his nose, and then his lips. “It’s okay to be scared. I am, too. You just have to let me know when you’re scared. You have to tell me what’s happened to scare you. We have to communicate rather than shut down on each other. That’s the only way we’ll ever get past these stupid arguments.”

“You get scared, too?”

“Of course I do. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

He nods again. “And I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter. Because we’re here and we have each other. And that will never change.”

They’re kissing again. Laughing in between kisses. Exchanging _I love you_ ’s between their lips. Better yet, they’re no longer fighting. And that’s what counts.

Hell, this is so much better than how their evening was earlier. And it’ll only get better from here on out. It has to. Lea will make sure of it. One way or another. Because he’ll never give up on Isa. He’ll always find a reason to love him. A reason to stay.

_Oh, we can learn to love again_

_Oh, we can learn to love again_

_Oh, oh, that we’re not broken, just bent_

_And we can learn to love again_

Isa can’t sleep. He doesn’t want to wake Lea, though. So, he quietly slips out of bed and exits the room. He also leaves the apartment, making his way up to the rooftop. It’s grown warmer over the last couple of weeks, but there’s still a certain nip in the air. Not that Isa minds.

The sky is clear. And the moon is full. It brings a sense of serenity to Isa. Calms his racing mind. His racing heart. If he stays out here for just a little while, he should be lulled. Then he’ll be able to return to the apartment tired enough to sleep. Except—

“Nice night out,” a voice greets him. He turns to see Lea joining him. The redhead smiles. “Cold, but not too terrible.”

Isa returns the smile. “Yeah…”

They stand together in silence, admiring the light from the moon. Isa’s learned to love the quiet moments. To appreciate them. He doesn’t let his thoughts get loud enough to ruin them anymore.

“Let’s go for a drive,” Lea speaks up. “I know the perfect spot.”

“What?” Isa laughs a bit incredulously. “It’s the middle of the night.”

“And we’re both already up, so we might as well.”

Lea hurries down from the rooftop and Isa follows close behind him. They return to the apartment to put real clothes on and grab the keys to their vehicle. Lea drives. Isa doesn’t ask him where they’re going. He actually ends up falling asleep for most of the drive, so by the time Lea wakes him, he’s not even sure how far out of the town they’ve gone. Not until he steps out of the car, at least.

They’re in an open field. It’s nearly pitch black except—Except the sky is lit up. Not only with the full moon, but with _stars_. Hell, Isa can see every single one of the twinkling orbs. There aren’t any city lights to wash them out and it’s incredible. Stunning. Entrancing. He smiles as he tilts his head back and spins around himself to get a look at every corner of the sky.

Eventually, his gaze lands on the redhead. The brightest star in his darkest skies. Lea smiles at him once he realises he’s being stared at. Isa feels a blush creeping into his cheeks. They step towards each other, meeting halfway.

“Well?” Lea starts. “What do ya think?”

“I think…” He kisses Lea rather than finishing his thought. When they break apart, they both tilt their heads back to look up at the star-blazon sky. “I think we’re part of the same constellation. And no matter how we rotate,” he looks back at the redhead, “we’ll always be a part of each other. Nothing can separate us. Not a galaxy. Not even a supernova.”

Lea scoffs, but there’s no real heat behind it. “Talk about corny.”

He kisses Isa again, wrapping his arms around his waist. Isa reciprocates by sliding his arms around Lea’s neck. And as they kiss under a sky full of burning stars, Isa feels a star burning within himself, as well. A whole universe. An entire cosmos. One that belongs to only him and Lea. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

He knows they’ll be together until they’re nothing more than stardust.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow the event on twitter and tumblr using #CelestialSongs
> 
> twitter: @/LadySage08  
> tumblr: the-clock-strikes-twilight


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